Feliz Año Nuevo! I'm probably the last person to wish you a happy new year but better late than never right? ;) Hope you like the new look, over the last few weeks I've decided to take a little break from social media and my blog whilst I revamp, plan and create new content.. as a result I have changed the layout of MimiBella and have even designed a new logo all by myself! What do you guys think?


Kind.
having or showing a friendly; generous, and considerate nature.
affectionate or loving.


One of the biggest lessons I learnt in the year of 2016 is the importance of being kind, not just to others but also (and especially) towards yourself. If I'm honest, I am someone that loves (or should I say loved) control; over my life, the situations I find myself in, my future, the list goes on and on.. I used to find it very hard to understand that certain things, in fact a lot of things are beyond my control. This then meant when something went wrong, or something didn't work out I would place the entire blame on myself; I must have done something wrong, I must have forgotten something, I didn't pay enough attention to the small details, I must have analyzed something wrong, once again the list could go on forever. I would carry this burden on my shoulders, anything and everything even down to the way people treated me I would take the blame and beat myself up about it.


Eventually this led to my way of thinking becoming very negative, even though great things were happening in my life I could only focus on the things that were spiralling out of control and beating myself up about not being able to keep them in check. It was only a matter of time before my thoughts poisoned my life and I went through what I call the darkest period of my life. I became depressed. (self-diagnosed) 


I basically killed myself (internally/spiritually). All those negative thoughts consumed my brain and made me feel depressed, I lost my sense of purpose, I spoke and thought so much negativity that by the time I realised that things to change and I had to start speaking positivity in my life again I couldn't. Whenever I did it was a struggle to believe it. It was like a battle between the two different sides of me.. Some days the positive side was more dominant and I would find it easy to be grateful and happy for my life, but other days the other side was more dominant and would find it harder to look at the bright side of life and feel happy. There would be days were I would spend the entire day in bed sleeping, with no motivation to get up even if it was to go and feed myself. As a result of this negative wave of mine I un-deliberately lost 4kg in just 3 weeks; this might not sound like a lot to some of you but I am someone who has always mantained constant weight that does not fluctuate at all, (even when I bang gym!) 


I know this post has become a little gloomy, but I felt like I had to share my story and where I have come from mentally just in case anyone reading this can relate.
YOU HAVE TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
That's the most important lesson I learnt last year. Perfection is unattainable. Unexpected things happen. Majority of the time your situation is not a reflection of you and your efforts. You might find yourself unemployed, homeless, heartbroken, ill etc but you cannot place the entire blame on yourself and beat yourself up when these issues are not resolved at the click of a finger. Some of these things are in our fate to experience and endure for a season. No matter how hard you try to avoid going through it, if it's part of 'your fate' you will experience it regardless of what you do, how careful you are etc. The best thing you could do is keep yourself alive and keep feeding life to yourself through your thoughts and the words your speak out into the universe.


It's not so much the situations we find ourselves in, but how we react to them. Detach your feelings from your circumstances and continue doing you, continue working hard. Tell yourself that regardless of what is going on in my life, I have the choice to be happy and I am choosing to be happy.

I've told myself I'm going to be on 'mummy' mode to myself this year. Think of your relationship with yourself as the relationship between a mother and her child. A mother is loving, kind, nurturing, understanding; someone who will always try her best to uplift their child and encourage them, when times are hard, they are that rock. Continuously speaking positive words and reminding them that this too shall pass.

I hope this post was helpful to someone out there, let me know in the comments what your thoughts are, or whether you've ever been through something similar..

Outfit details..
Fur Coat - Missguided   ||   Top - Adidas   ||   Skirt - H&M   ||   Trainers - Nike
PS. Yes, I have definitely mixed Nike and Adidas and I have no shame